It has been shared with me many times over that it is in the struggle we lose our peace. Well I experienced this in a fresh way this past week. It was a typical day at work. I was enjoying the activity, the people and all that I was learning. Yet, towards the end of the day, my energy shifted and I started to experience a feeling of depression. It was a type of sadness and I did not know from where it came. Now I am the type of person that likes to move through issues and not stay in them. If I see something that needs to be taken care of or discussed, I do it. I like to keep the air clear so to speak. So I took a quick walk outside to do a soul evaluation. I checked my thoughts; had I believed something that was not true? I checked in with my intuition; was there something I should be doing or someone I should call? My heart didn’t sense that either. Was there something I ate that my body didn’t care for and caused an imbalance in my emotions? Nothing came up and yet I still tried to find the answer or reason for the shift in my disposition which was growing more uncomfortable. Within the hour it was time to drive home. I gathered my things and walked to the elevator. It was all I could do not to tear up. Once outside and in the car I prayed and allowed the tears to fall freely and it was then that it came to me. I was allowing the feelings just to be; to express themselves and not stifling them by looking for their cause and therefore their cure. In my acceptance of the feeling, allowing me to feel it, it became less powerful and I got the “ah-ha”. It is perfectly OK to allow the feelings which surfaced to move through me and not attempt to label them. Now I knew this in an intellectual way i.e. feelings are not good or bad, etc. I have shared this with other people many times and to some who have tried to cover up their feelings by over working, by mood altering drugs, sex or by acting out because they wanted to avoid the feelings altogether. What I experienced was opposite in a way. I wanted to dive so quickly into the reason or source of the feeling, looking to take care of the issue, that it became a struggle verses being in the moment. Once I saw this for what it was while driving home, welcoming and accepting the feeling of sadness, my peace came back to me. The acceptance for what it was, even if I did not know from where it came, was the lesson. My heart became lighter and I smiled at myself with a sense of gentleness that was not there a few hours before.
I love how Life gives us the lessons we need and when we stay in the moment and breathe through the discomfort, the struggle becomes less and there is room for peace.
In that peace,